What I Choose:

I choose to believe that God is good. 

I choose to believe it because nothing else makes sense. 

I wished for years that something would make sense in the turmoil of my soul; I tried to run to what was easier, rather than sticking with what didn't make physical sense. For much of my life I thought that holding on to true sense meant that every piece of every puzzle would fit just how I wanted it to and I would be able to chart that "sense" like everything else we say we can tangibly grasp in this life. As I continued to engage myself in what I believed would come together, I continued to find myself even further from the reality of truth and hope that my soul longed for. The physical things that I thought would bring me joy, were stealing life from me. I was taking the easy route. I was unable to hold onto, or even see, what was really true. I still get foggy at times in the mess of life, that God somehow makes beautiful in its time; I still get lost in what I think I need and what I think should make sense; but, it never fails that the only true anchor of hope is hinged on the true love of God. If we feel that we are anchored to hope, but that vessel to which that hope is hinged, is not Christ, then we ware destined to drown with that falsehood. No vessel, no matter how great or strong, and no matter how well mended, will sink with the devastating waves, or through the corrosion of time. CS Lewis said, "God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." The only vessel of hope that will truly stand the test of time and the storms of life, is the love of Christ. 

This is what I choose.